Which way is North?

This helpful little fella was just what me and the Mrs. needed on our little day trip of antiquing in New Hope, PA.

I wanted some vintage frames... she wanted used books...what's a couple to do?! We were raring up for a thin-lipped, passive aggressive, white couple fight when Bucky here helped us end our fight by pointing us in the direction of his favorite little antiquery: The Oak Hole.

Thanks little friend! It's getting hot out here, maybe it's time you run along!

(special thanks to the crone bone on this one)

Can stepping on a crack actually break your back?

The age old question that has haunted people with obessive compulsive disorder for years.

My furry little mate has proven that, yes, stepping on a crack CAN cause one to break their back.

If you look closely you can actually see his back; and a couple of organs. Unfortunately it's a little late for thank you's.

Why do I do what I do?

People ask me, "Why all the tomfoolery with deceased tree rodents?" Good question. I think this photo of my great great grandfather's tombstone may answer some questions. He asked the immortal question inscribed on the tombstone just days before he died from Squirrel Fever in the 1920's. To this day, rumors are passed around my family speculating what my great great grandad was doing with the squirrel that gave him the terminal disease. If he was anything like his adoring great great grandson, my guess is that he was having sex with it. I hope this paints an accurate, if not beautiful, picture in your head concerning my passion for tree varmints.

Do you have Frangelico?

Are you fucking serious, Nutty? How long have you been coming in here? Like 3 years now?! Do I look like the kind of squirrel who would serve that shit? Get the fuck out!

Question: Is waterboarding safe for squirrels?

The answer: No. Especially when there is no board.

Which way to the oak tree?

I asked this little guy how to get to the nearest oak tree...nothing but silence from this cool customer.  You will crack soon my friend.  Oh, have you met my friends Honey Bunches and Oats?! They don't take kindly to insolence.